I Don't Love You
by paris1601
Summary: Kurogane doesn't love Fai? KuroFai, Oneshot


_Short one-shot for everyone while I'm working on my thesis. Hope you guys like it. I haven't had the time to go to ffnet lately. Just found a group that has the TRC manga and got this fic idea from 133. _

_I hope I graduate this term and I hope I can catch up with the manga. Wow! I've only read up to Sakura/Outo Country!_

_Shameless plug: I invite everyone to read some of my unedited works at http://parisdlr. will be appreciated!_

_Paris_

_**Warnings: **Yaoi, KuroFai_

_**Disclaimers: **Not mine. Not real._

**I Don't Love You**

It was one of those moments when the kids and the manjuu were asleep and Fai and Kurogane were left alone, forced to talk to each other like the two adults they supposedly were. However, Fai didn't seem to understand the "adults" part of the deal. He constantly forced their conversations to be about juvenile topics…

"Kuro-tan, do you love me?" Fai asked in one of his playful, teasing tones.

…Juvenile topics such as love.

Only twittering giggly girls at the edge dividing girlhood and womanhood were as obsessed with the topic as the mage was. Kurogane's brow twitched dangerously as he tried to look busy with his sword polishing. "No, I don't love you." He hoped with all his heart that Fai would have enough of an IQ to catch the disinterest. The only reason they were talking about it in the first place was, because he wasn't a good enough a talker to start a conversation on his own. Love was such a sore topic for him. The girls—along with, no, led by Tomoyo-hime—seemed to enjoy harassing him about it and the poor man had become traumatized by the 'bonding sessions' he was forced to endure throughout his years in the palace.

But, Fai apparently was either not very smart or was equally evil as Tomoyo-hime. He proceeded to ask another, equally damning question. "Kuro-kichi, am I ugly?" the voice was bright and jesting.

"Yes, you are." Not true, but maybe a nasty response would discourage the blond from discussing the topic further.

"So, you don't find me attractive?" still teasing.

"No, I don't." Again, not true, but there was no point in chipping his perfect front.

"Kuro-wanwan, why don't you find me attractive?" there was a sudden rise in the amount of cheer in the magician's voice that alarmed Kurogane. Fai was dangerously close to the cheerfulness he exuded before plunging into the pit of depression he plunged into at night whenever he thought Kurogane was asleep.

In Kurogane's mind, an event from a few months back replayed itself like a broken record.

----------

"_...So take me somewhere far away, to a true elsewhere."_

In the darkness of Clover Bar, the beautiful Oruha sang her song for the crowd. But, by the look on Fai's face, it almost seemed as if Oruha was singing for him. It was as if Oruha was singing the song of his life.

"Such a lovely voice," Fai commented wistfully.

Kurogane was a bit irked that night. He wasn't sure if it was the alcohol or the fact that Fai had chosen to make it possible for the kijis to kill him so easily. "If you want to go somewhere, you can go by yourself," he pierced blue eyes with his own red ones. "There's no need to ask anyone."

"Kuro-chan, you're the only one who would do that, you know?" Fai was bemused as he spoke. Then, his mood totally changed, although Kurogane had not mastered the subtleties of Fai's expressions yet, at that time, he noted that sadness suddenly seemed to wrap itself around the mage's blue eyes.

"Hmm… How should I put it?" Fai said, looking away so that whatever was betrayed by the windows to his soul could not easily be read by Kurogane. The ninja noted, however, that the split second Fai spent letting him glimpse those eyes seemed deliberate. As if subconsciously, Fai wanted Kurogane to catch on. "I've been waiting, too…"

----------

"…_Waiting for someone who can stay by my side."_

At that time, Kurogane could not pinpoint what about the tone bothered him. Now, it was clear. Fai would not die let himself die so long as he didn't find the one who would stay by his side. So, even if it did happen, Kurogane would not give Fai a reason to allow himself to die…

…Even if he hated seeing the mage sad or try to conceal the fact that he was sad, he could not reveal the possibility of it...

Then again, maybe a hint wouldn't hurt, if it would make Fai feel a little better about himself.

But Kurogane could not fall out of character, lest the blond suspect anything. "Because you're ugly, you idiot, weren't you listening?" There was a short span of silence as he watched Fai's expression out of the corner of his eye. It was still all smiles, but the smiles were becoming more and more like a porcelain doll's—so breakable. He chose his next words carefully, "And, also, because if I start finding you attractive, I might fall in love."

The ceramic smile suddenly became a bit softer, a little more real, "Why is that so bad?"

Seeing that the magician was feeling better, Kurogane felt no need to indulge the other man any further. "Don't ask stupid questions."

**End –**

_Did you get it? No? Don't feel bad, I suck at endings._

_Well, the explanation is, Kurogane thinks that the only thing Fai is living for is finding the one who would love him and stay by his side and that once Fai finds that person, Fai would allow himself to die—like in the phrase "I can now die in peace" or something to that effect. So, he decided not to let Fai know that Kurogane finds Fai attractive, loves him, and may be the very person who would stay by his side so Fai wouldn't die._


End file.
